One of the key questions ANYONE planning for retirement is considering whether they know it or not is: what is my legacy? We all want to know what impact we’ve made and how people will remember us.  Here are some questions you might want to consider as you are planning your exit in order to do some honest reflection and strategic thinking.

First, begin with yourself with the serenity prayer in mind:

• What has gone well?
• Given the opportunity, what would I change?
• Knowing that there are some things that cannot be changed, how do I let go and be gracious to myself and others?
• What dreams have been waiting on you to retire?
• What can you do now toward the accomplishment of those dreams? 

By asking yourself these questions, you are looking back and accessing your journey for both the successes and failures you’ve had along the way.  Celebration and grief should always be held in tension as they are a part of every journey.  When we do not attend to these needs they often find ways of getting met that are not healthy for us or the faith communities we serve.  If we are honest with ourselves we also have lengthy lists of dreams that have been waiting on us even when we have been doing what we absolutely love.  This is your chance to consider what might be on that list EVEN when the dreams seem unrealistic…they belong on the list so you can consider fully where you might want to spend your time.  Be aware that this is not easy work and you will find many things that should be more important than the effort I’ve just named…don’t be fooled by that feeling.  It is worth recognizing that at retirement we are all doing something we’ve never done before!  So, who are the trusted people you will confide in to do this work?

Second, consider the faith community you serve and what it would mean for them to move forward in a healthy way.

• How will I plan my exit?
• Who will work with me on this plan?
• When should we begin?
• What are likely to be the greatest challenges?
• What role will they ask me to play in their moving forward?
• What can I do to support their healthy work?
• What should I not do to support their healthy work?
• Who will hold me accountable to what I say I will and will not do?
• What resources do they need in the interim?

I have often heard the two most difficult aspects of any ministerial journey are starting well and leaving well.  The retirement leaving and starting is also tied at the very least to a shift in the way a minister sees herself/himself.  Be certain to pay attention to the complexity of this shift!

• What would I be doing if I were paying attention to this complexity?
• Knowing myself the way I do, what is likely to be the most difficult part of this journey?
• When have I said goodbye and hello well in the past?  How is this like that experience and how is it different?

It takes great inner strength and maturity to know and practice the best marker for a successful leaving:  vacating a space that someone else can enter!  But be reminded:  the way you move out of one space says a great deal about how you will enter the next.

Melissa Clodfelter, April 2011