If there really is no such thing as “just listening” imagine what can happen when listeners step fully into their roles as co-narrators!

While working on a literature review recently I came across an article written by Bavelas, Coates, and Johnson entitled, “Listeners as Co-Narrators,” published in 2000, in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.  In their research they set up listening dyads where one person would share a story of a near miss or close call and the other would listen with different variables being introduced, such as counting while listening.  Two of their learnings were as follows:

• Listeners tended to give general comments early in the conversation but as the story moved closer to the climax, the listener began to give more specific feedback to the narrator and actually became a part of the story. 
• In the part of the project where the listeners were challenged with distraction, the stories were not as well told or came to abrupt endings. 

As people of faith, we are constantly listening to others as they attempt to make meaning of difficult situations in their lives.  If we take seriously the idea of being co-narrators in their stories, we play a role that is larger than “just listening,” we become a part of the story with them.  We also detract from their story when we are distracted in our listening.  Sometimes because of the situation people choose to share, distractions cannot be helped.  In other words, in the middle of Wednesday night dinner is not such a good time to try and listen to a difficult life story.  It’s okay to redirect the moment and invite them to make an appointment to finish this conversation.   As co-narrators we can support people to value their stories in this way. 

When we, as listeners, take seriously our role as co-narrators we help people in their meaning making and we are all changed by the interaction.

Melissa Clodfelter March 2011